In this talk and interactive webinar workshop, participants will
- Investigate the concept of bodichitta
- Be guided in a mindfulness practice around our intention to help
- Practice somatic distress tolerance around skillful non-action
- Explore ways to help without patronizing
- Cultivate a practice of curiosity and deep listening
- Root into our deepest intentions of liberation, both personal and collective
- Have time for Q and A
It might be said that cultivating bodichitta and becoming an embodied boddhisatva is a way of orienting ourselves towards personal and collective awakening… and along with that, exists a desire to alleviate suffering for all beings. Awakening + alleviation of suffering = compassionate action, right? Maybe. It depends on what someone’s perception of “compassion” is.
The term idiot compassion can feel like a jolt: how can those two words even be associated with one another in the same sentence? We’ve been told having a loving heart and generosity are the marks of being on a loving and spiritual path. But what if we get confused, our “helping” lacks balance, and we’re unclear as to why we’re really giving – and whether our gift is the “right” or skillful one to give?
The term idiot compassion is said to have originated with Trungpa Rinpoche, although some point to it being coined by Russian spiritual guide Gurdjieff. Whatever it’s origin, Pema Chodron likens it to the modern term “enabling,” where the one offering the so-called “gift” lacks clarity on their deepest intentions and motivations underneath their “compassionate action.” For me, the word co-dependency also comes to mind.
So, it begs the question: how do we cultivate greater insight around what we’re really doing, and why we’re really doing it? How can the circle of compassion indeed include ourselves – and – how can we become aware of what might be a bit of a “near enemy” of what looks like compassion… perhaps recognizing our actions as more of a disguise hiding our own impulse or need (to fix, to feel useful, to be seen as a “good person”)?
As we get clearer, how do we then, instead of reflexively following that impulse or habit, learn to respond appropriately with whatever doing or nondoing… action or lack of action… that’s really needed in any given moment?
In our current day and social and political climate, we may also use this framework as a basis to support a deeper understanding of what’s been termed “white saviorism” – something often found in the “helping professions” where white practitioners such as therapists may have an urge to “help” a marginalized community in a performative way without fully engaging that community’s agency, consent and input in a collaborative way. Sometimes, this kind of “helping” behavior can feel like pity, patronizing, or condescending to those on the receiving end.
Before we jump to “doing for others,” we may first ground ourselves in the realization that our own personal efforts to tolerate any of our own distress around whatever hard truths may be difficult for us to bear (personal traumas, systemically oppressive systems, and more) that we want to ‘help’ can be misguided if not coming out of a place of, as Thich That Hahn says, deep listening, reflection, understanding, and then compassionate action.
For reflection:
Bodhicitta has been the subject of many large and weighty tomes. The Four Great Vows in the Zen tradition provide a wonderfully succinct, pragmatic, and profound articulation of bodhicitta:
Beings are numberless: may I free them all.
Reactions are endless: may I release them all.
Doors to experience are infinite: may I enter them all.
Ways of awakening are limitless: may I know them all.
The first of the four vows says Beings are numberless: may I free them all. It speaks to a heartfelt wish that others not suffer. In the practice of bodhicitta, we actively cultivate a wish that others be free of pain and struggle.
-Ken McLoud, Tricycle Magazine, Summer 2018 excerpt
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This event will be recorded and emailed to everyone that registers.