In this Dharma talk, Bhante Buddharakkhitaexplores the Four Brahmavihāras—the Buddhist heart practices of loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity—through metaphors of Wi-Fi, electricity, and “heart power;” offering accessible guidance for cultivating an open heart and connection with ourselves and others in everyday life.
I’d like to talk about the four Brahmavihāras, often called the sublime abodes. They are our heart power.
I think of the Brahmavihāras as our inner Wi-Fi. Everywhere we go these days, people ask, “Do you have Wi-Fi?” If there isn’t any internet and we can’t connect, we become disappointed.
But imagine this: we forget to ask how long we’ve been disconnected from ourselves. Or disconnected from our family. Or even disconnected from suffering. Sometimes we become numb to suffering without realizing it.
The Brahmavihāras are like the strongest Wi-Fi connection we can have. They help us stay connected—to ourselves, to others, and to life. It’s really the fastest Internet, if you know how to connect. For myself, I recently I found out a formula how to do it, which I ‘ll share with you. I drew from science, because many people know Einstein’s famous equation: E = mc²
So I made my own version, which can help you to connect all the time and don’t lose the connectivity: EM²C
- E stands for Equanimity.
- M stands for Mettā (loving-kindness).
- The second M stands for Muditā (sympathetic joy).
- C stands for Compassion.
If you want to stay connected all the time, remember EM²C.
Einstein also spoke about the law of relativity. I like to speak about the law of relationships. One of my teachers in India, Vimala Thakar, said, “To be alive is to be related.” We are always in relationship—with ourselves, with our friends, even with people we find difficult. We cannot live in isolation. Even if we retreat to a cave, we are still in relationship with the world around us.
The Brahmavihāras are called the sublime abodes because they are states we embody. When I teach them, people ask me, what’s the difference? Can I practice one alone? I say, no, you have to practice the whole package. There’s no cherry picking here. That’s why I came with the formula, so that we know that it has to be a full package.
The Four Brahmavihāras are also called the boundless states because there is no limit to the number of beings we can include in them. I like to compare them to electricity. Electricity enters a building as one current, but we use it in different ways. The same electricity can heat a room, wash clothes, light a house, or power an iron. The Brahmavihāras work in much the same way.
First, we use electricity for heating.
When a room is cold, we turn on the heater to bring warmth. Loving-kindness, mettā, does the same thing. Anger freezes the heart. Mettā melts it. Once a room is warm, everyone who enters enjoys that warmth. The heater doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t say, “You’re from Uganda—you can’t come in,” or “You’re from India—you can’t come in.” Warmth is offered equally to everyone. In Sanskrit, the word mitra, related to mettā, also means the sun. The sun shines on everyone without discrimination.
Electricity can also power a washing machine.
Growing up in Uganda, we didn’t have washing machines. We washed everything by hand. But a washing machine removes dirt and stains from our clothes. Compassion, karuṇā, works the same way. It washes away cruelty, hatred, and the stains of the heart. It helps cleanse the mind of what no longer serves us.
Electricity also gives us light.
A light bulb brightens a room, and one lit bulb can light another without losing any of its own brightness. The more lights we turn on, the brighter the room becomes. This is muditā, appreciative joy. When we stop feeling threatened by another person’s success, when jealousy and envy fall away, life becomes brighter. Rejoicing in another person’s happiness doesn’t diminish our own happiness—it increases it. Like lighting more and more lamps, joy spreads without ever being depleted.
Finally, electricity powers an iron.
I confess that when I’m traveling, I sometimes only iron the part of my robe that people can actually see. I don’t have much time, and I’d rather spend it with the Dharma. Why do we iron clothes? Because the fabric has wrinkles and uneven places. Ironing smooths them out. Equanimity does the same thing in our lives. It helps smooth out the ups and downs. Like a thermostat regulating temperature, equanimity brings balance.
All four qualities belong together.
Imagine having electricity but only using it for lighting. You’d still need it for heating, for washing, for cooking, for ironing. In the same way, we need all four Brahmavihāras in our practice.
Let’s begin with mettā, loving-kindness.
Mettā is the quality of heart and mind that promotes the welfare and happiness of all beings. I like using acronyms because they help people remember the Dhamma.
For mettā I use RAID.
R — Recognize that all beings want to be happy.
A — Accept that loving-kindness is the path to happiness.
I — Incline your mind toward kindness.
D — Develop it in your thoughts, your speech, and your actions.
Development means more than repeating, “May I be well and peaceful.” Your thoughts should become loving. Your speech should become loving. Your actions should become loving. People sometimes ask, “Can other people really feel my mettā?” I compare it to wearing perfume. You may not notice your own perfume anymore, but everyone else does. The same is true with loving-kindness. It radiates. It becomes your Wi-Fi.
Recognize that every being wants happiness. I once watched a tiny insect walking toward a stick lying in its path. Instead of climbing over it, it turned and went around. Even that tiny insect wanted to avoid suffering. If a tiny insect wants happiness, what about us?
Accept that loving-kindness truly works. Many people say, “I can’t send mettā to myself.” Then incline your mind toward happiness. The Buddha taught that whatever you incline the mind toward, that is what you become. Neuroscience says something similar: Neurons that fire together wire together. The amount of happiness we experience reflects what we’ve been practicing.
If we continually practice anger, anger becomes familiar. If we continually practice kindness, kindness becomes familiar. I begin by inclining my mind toward the wholesome qualities already present. “Bhante, you’ve been generous.” “You’ve been kind.” If I can’t find anything, then at least I set the intention to be good. Then I continue developing loving-kindness through thought, speech, and action.
Compassion begins the same way.
Recognize that everyone wants happiness and does not want suffering. Accept this as a universal truth. Then begin with yourself. Where are you suffering? Many people live in denial. They say, “I’m not suffering.” But the Buddha pointed out that our deepest suffering is often not physical illness. Mental greed. Hatred. Delusion. These can remain with us our whole lives. Seeing this naturally gives rise to compassion for ourselves.
Then we begin to recognize the suffering of others. With compassion we offer different phrases: “May you be free from suffering.” The energy is the same. Only the application changes.
Develop appreciative joy using the same approach. Recognize that everyone longs for happiness and joy. Accept that this is true for all beings. Then incline your mind toward joy.
Ask yourself: Have I experienced any spiritual success? Simply finding the Dhamma is already a great blessing. Rejoice in your own goodness. Then rejoice in the goodness of others. May your practice deepen. May others continue to flourish. Develop appreciative joy in your thoughts, your speech, and your actions.
Equanimity is the balanced heart.
It remains steady through life’s ups and downs. Again we recognize that everyone wishes to live with balance. We accept that this balance is available to all. The way we cultivate equanimity is by reflecting on karma.
I am the owner of my karma, born of my karma, related to my karma, supported by my karma. Whatever actions I do, skillful or unskillful, I will inherit them. Then we extend that same understanding to others. They, too, are owners of their karma. We develop equanimity mentally, through our speech, and through our actions. Then we stay connected.
The Buddha spoke of many benefits that arise from practicing the Brahmavihāras. You sleep well. Your dreams become peaceful. You wake up happy. Human beings become your friends. Even non-human beings become your friends—even mosquitoes! Your face becomes serene. I call it mettā cosmetics. They’re inexpensive, available all the time, and suitable for everyone.
You become protected—not literally from fire, weapons, and poison—but from the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion. Concentration comes more easily because the mind is no longer dominated by these unwholesome states. You die peacefully.
And if full awakening has not yet been realized, the tradition says there is still a wonderful consolation prize: rebirth in the Brahma world.
So this is my reflection, and my new formula for staying connected. Einstein spoke about the physical world. I’m talking about the spiritual world. He spoke about atomic energy. I’m talking about heart energy.
Mindfulness develops through attention. The Brahmavihāras develop through connection. First we connect with the good qualities within ourselves. Then with friends, relatives, benefactors, neutral people, difficult people, and finally, all beings everywhere.
Then you have Wi-Fi wherever you go.
Thank you very much for listening. May you be well and happy.
Bhante Buddharakkhita, PhD