In the Buddhist teachings, Wise Intention is one of what we call the “path factors.” It’s the second factor on the Noble Eightfold Path. What is really important about Wise Intention is that that is something we have control over. There are lots of things that we don’t have control over, but we do have control over our intentions.
It’s to ask ourselves: How do I want to show up in the world? How do I want to respond to what’s going on in the world, in my community, in my family, and to what’s going on inside of me?
Wise intention is a part of that. Because if we know what our intention are, then we can align, or at least try to align, our actions with our intentions. If we are no clear about our intentions, then habit and reactivity will take over. For myself, usually that means I will react in a way that my scared or overwhelmed nervous system is hardwired to do. And we know where that ends.
And so we need some particularly strong intentions in times where we feel more stressed, overwhelmed, and triggered; to be firm that we do not want to react in a certain habitual way.
In the Buddhist teachings wise intention has these three aspects, the first one being renunciation. We can renounce being pulled into behavior that we don’t want. For example, we can renounce being provoked into anger or reactivity — such as getting into fights and arguments in person or online.
That can be a very powerful practice, because when you think about it, if you cannot be provoked, who has the power? You do. But if somebody provokes you and you fly off the handle, who has the power? So I think there’s something very powerful in that, but it’s not easy, right? Because we’re working against our nervous systems, which are built to fight or flee.
So we have to have even more awareness, and think ahead. For example, perhaps you think, “I’m going to have that conversation with that person, and I know it’s more likely that I will react when they’re saying something.” Knowing that is going to happen, you could make it a challenge for yourself to see if you can stay cool in that conversation.
This can be a way to train yourself to stay in your power, instead of giving up, or giving over your power to the other person. Because it’s a training, sometimes it’s good to have many opportunities to practice, because it’s not easy.
One of the core elements of the mindfulness practice is that we are finding what we call “the gap.” Perhaps you’ve heard the quote that allegedly Viktor Frankl said: “Between the stimulus and the response, there’s a space, or a gap. And in that gap is where our freedom lies.”
Because our freedom is to be able to choose. Usually when there’s a stimulus, there’s no space. We call that reactivity: when somebody pushes one of your buttons, and bam, you’re gone. And it doesn’t feel powerful, it feels quite helpless.
Mindfulness practice helps us, over time, catch ourselves more often. Of course not always, which is why we also practice self-compassion, acknowledging we’re all human, all a work in progress. But perhaps if you’ve been practicing, you have had more of those moments, where there was a choice. Maybe you felt the impulse to do something and say something, and then you went…I’m not doing that right now.
That feels really powerful. We’re practicing for that choice, to renounce acting on an impulse. Over time, maybe those impulses even disappear, and it’s really cool when that happens. You suddenly notice progress, often in traffic – someone cuts you off, and before, you might have gone berserk. Now, you think, I’m making progress!
So renunciation is a wise intention, as is practicing goodwill. Loving-kindness is a form of goodwill: it’s about protecting our own mind from being poisoned by aversion and hatred. This doesn’t mean people won’t do terrible things. It’s about taking responsibility for our own mind and heart.
Depending on the situation, that can be difficult. But sometimes, it doesn’t take much practice to just say, “I’m refusing to hate that person.” That doesn’t mean you have to like the person or speak to them again. This is about choosing a different relationship, and practicing it over time. Thinking about the internal environment you want to live in. Does it feel good to be mad or to hate somebody? Sometimes it feels a little good, but that wears off. Then it erodes us from within. Holding grudges has a price.
The third aspect of Wise Intention is not causing harm. This is complex, and I don’t have clear answers to all of it.
You may know about the monks who walked for peace. A week ago, they arrived at Lincoln Center in Washington after walking 108 days, 2,300 miles. 108 is sacred in Buddhist practice. They walk with no money, no food, no shelter, completely dependent on the generosity of strangers. It’s amazing.
They were not protesting anything; they were for something—peace, peace within each of us. We can’t make world peace. It would be wonderful if we could, but it’s not possible. What we can influence is peace within this body and mind.
Bhikku Bodhi said: Since the state of the world reflects the minds of its inhabitants, permanent universal peace would require a radical transformation in those minds. That’s beautiful, but unrealistic. What is possible is lasting individual peace within ourselves, fulfilled through the Buddha’s threefold training.
This internal peace overflows and positively influences others. As the old Indian adage says: One can never make the earth safe for one’s feet by sweeping away all thorns and gravel. But with shoes, one’s feet are comfortable everywhere. One cannot be free from enmity by eliminating all foes, but if one strikes down hate in the mind, one sees no enemies.
That’s powerful. This is what the monks teach: you’re responsible for peace in your own heart. Practice that, and your environment will transform.
Systems theory applies here: change one part of a system, the whole system shifts. We can’t change everyone, but we can control ourselves. That matters, especially when we feel overwhelmed.
I’ve seen people inspired to walk with these monks, hundreds from all parts of society. We need hope, teachings that peace is possible. Remember, the Buddha lived in violent, unjust times.
If everyone practiced this, the world would be different. We can’t make everyone practice it, even our kids. What matters is focusing on what we can do.
The flip side of peace is not harming. Being trained as a physician, “first do no harm” has always been important. We cannot avoid harming, but we can set the intention not to harm. We can be humble, acknowledge our mistakes, and listen deeply to those we hurt.
Even then, conflict repair isn’t always possible. Sometimes others can’t understand, or the harm is too deep. Still, we cultivate practices to listen first before seeking to be understood.
“Harmless” is often used as an insult, as if it means weak or insignificant. We can reclaim it: yes, I’m harmless. I’m proud to be harmless. To be someone nobody fears—not weak or passive, but with boundaries and assertiveness.
Exploring that fine line can be very helpful.
Warmly,
Christiane
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