It came to me earlier today. My intention for today, tomorrow, and all my ceremonies, sound baths and retreats going forward is exactly that, exquisite trust. The definition of exquisite being “extremely beautiful” and “intensely felt.” A deep inhale and exhale to that. Trust being the firm, stable ground that holds all things, even things unknown and unseen. Having exquisite trust, to me, means having faith, not in any particular religion but in oneself and in life itself, moving through us and all things. Call it the Dharma, the Tao, the Universe, Source or God. It goes by many names and all of it is also just the finger pointing at the moon.
I am aware of the fact that there is no real solidity to anything, no permanence, no constant besides change and endless streams of energy bubbling up and fading away, over and over again. But within that, there is also a sense of safety, strangely enough. Knowing and accepting that nothing is permanent helps me not take anything too seriously which is something that before discovering Vipassana, I struggled with. Perfectionism, perceiving judgement from others, judgement from myself—how freeing it is to know that everything is just arising to fade away, even this very thought? Negative thoughts become just another interesting phenomena, like the way the light dances through a prism to throw rainbows around the room. And in that sense, there is space between the thought and me, instead of being the thought, the thought is just a thought. How interesting.
This idea of trusting life is something that has been in my conscious field of awareness for a while now. While reading Michael A. Singer’s The Surrender Experiment, I was moved by the exquisite trust he had for his life journey even despite many plans going against his initial rationale. How he was able to truly let go of his rational thinking mind and move beyond the fear is a source of inspiration for me. In my work, I talk a lot about setting intentions with my clients, the intention being an anchor point, like the breath or the mantra, which leads me to a song I learned recently by Lyndsey Scott on a women’s camping trip lead by one of my dear teachers Alexis Slutzky…
You don’t have to know the way
the way knows the way
You don’t have to plan the way
Trust the way, feel your way
The way knows
The way knows
The way knows the way
This intention is something I’d like to remember, always. I can let go, surrender, and feel that ease within my body. I actually don’t know and don’t have to know anything, how terrifying and liberating!
Holding all in exquisite trust,
Nicki
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Nicki Wong is a mindfulness teacher, a somatic plant medicine integration practitioner, and a trauma-informed guide in the realms of healing through connection with ourselves, others and the natural world. She has been supporting groups and individuals to connect to their bodies and the guidance found from within through sound journeys, guided meditation and somatic sessions in various forms for the past 10 years. Through partnerships with organizations like InsightLA and Insight In Action, she fulfills her mission to bring mindfulness to diverse communities. Through her work, she brings forth the confluence of all of the healing modalities she practices of energy work, sound, mindfulness, and connection to the natural world. Nicki is hosting Rest in Sound: A Forestkind Soundbath at InnerWay LA Culver City with Lulu Toselli on Saturday, August 12, 2023 from 7:30 PM – 9:00 PM PT |
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