Metta, or loving-kindness, is a word that is a little clunky for us in English. We don’t have a perfect word that points to what this quality really is. Translations for Metta include goodwill, benevolence, universal love, or loving friendliness. Even though we don’t have a perfect word for Metta, we do have this quality within us, as much as we have any other kind of state of consciousness or emotion. We know what anger is. We know what sadness is. We have Metta just the same.
So it is not a Buddhist thing, and it’s not an Eastern thing. It’s very much a human potential. Loving-kindness is one of the Brahmaviharas: “Brahma” means highest, “vihara” means abode — an abiding or a dwelling place. Brahma — highest — not from an authoritative place, not because the Buddha said, “This is the best thing for you to do, so you should do it,” but because you can really feel loving-kindness as a very powerful energy. It overrides the afflictive states in our mind and liberates the mind from them. So it’s called a liberating quality.
Each moment that your clear mind connects, “May I be safe,” your mind is then liberated from hating yourself, self-doubt, judgment, judging others. In that moment, there’s a liberating quality. And that moment is all you ever have to do. And then there’s a new moment, and then you do that again.
There’s a way that we can try to — and we do all the time — put efforts in our practice, or put efforts in our life, that are trying to control outcomes. My teacher pointed this out when I was on an intensive retreat one time. He said, “You put in the causes and let go of the effects.”
That’s the one job when practicing loving-kindness meditation. The one job is: may I be safe, healthy, and happy. Next moment, same thing. Mind will wander, then coming back — that one job: may I be safe. Kind of put it down and let the effects of it happen.
This is very conserving of our energy. Trying to control outcomes is a waste of energy because it’s trying to control what we don’t have control over. It makes us kind of at odds with life and depletes our energy.
Metta is very restoring of our energy. It’s very healing. Much like the guy that studied the effects of words on water — the way it affects your molecules — Metta, when you say the words, “may I be safe, healthy, and happy,” vibrate into your body, into your nervous system. It soothes the nerves.
The mind-body relationship is something that’s very visible in intensive practice. When we get quiet, the mind gets concentrated, and you can see a thought and its effects on the body. And that’s every thought.
I like to think of Metta as really the force of the universe, even though it’s hard to see in a world where there’s so much violence, pain, afflictions, and evil. But existence sort of rewards this beautiful quality and all wholesome qualities. The deepest essence of the universe does bend towards goodness.
So you can have that kind of faith — that our job is to line up with that creative force of the universe, where we care about the well-being, happiness, and peace of ourselves — and we care about the wellness, happiness, and peace of those around us. And the universe responds. The body responds to that.
The body also responds to anxiety and to worry, contracting the blood cells, having a negative effect on our organs. In Burma, it’s well talked about and very much understood — not taken as theory, because they’ve witnessed it so much — that people heal themselves through meditation practice. Why is that? Because thoughts are consuming. We’re consuming them. What are we consuming that goes into our bodies?
Sustained wholesome thoughts like mindfulness and concentration are a constant stream of feeding your body. I’ve had small experiences. I haven’t healed anything major, though I’ve known somebody who has. I had a friend that went into a retreat with rheumatoid arthritis in a wheelchair and came out walking afterwards. That was the biggest one of somebody I knew.
There’s this little pamphlet of Mahasi Sayadaw — it talks about tumors bursting and people curing cancer. And you don’t go into the practice to do that, but this is just what happened. You’ll see it manifest in intensive practice as your skin starts to get very clear, or the whites of the eyes start to get very white. And that’s having an effect on all of the organs and all of the nervous system. Your heart starts to beat more regularly, your digestion starts to work better too.
It’s not something we reflect on much, and it’s not something doctors know much about, which is very unfortunate and limiting to the medical system as we know it here. But other forms of healing do know that your thoughts absolutely are going into your body. It’s an early insight in Vipassana practice, and it’s an absolute law. It’s not a theory. You can see it for yourself.
You’ll see it in small ways if you just say the thoughts of loving-kindness, and you might feel a release in your body. I always hear my brain going, as soon as I start doing Metta practice, there’s something in the brain that starts cranking. But anyway, it’s constantly happening. It’s every single thought.
Our thoughts of self-hatred, our thoughts of fear, our thoughts of anger — they’re all affecting us. So it’s really lovely to have a container of retreat practice that will be supportive of you constantly increasing thoughts of loving-kindness. You don’t have to do more. You still just have one job. But how do you do it?
By familiarizing ourselves with Metta. Quiet, closing the eyes, calling up Metta, and then getting to know it. Feeling it. Becoming familiar. Studying it, really — like a scientist. Looking at it clearly by cultivating it, by constantly increasing these thoughts of loving-kindness.
If at any point on a loving-kindness retreat you have the thought, “Well, I did that already, that should be enough,” the instructions are: okay, we’re going to constantly increase. And do it again, and do it again, and do it again. Each little thought is consequential. Each little thought is beneficial.
Each thought is something to be treasured. The more you do the practice, you don’t have to make yourself treasure it. The more you familiarize yourself with it, the more you feel it in your system, in your heart, and the benefit of it, then you will start to naturally treasure it.
By putting these ideas into practice and establishing them, and then the way Thanissaro Bhikkhu says: by cultivating, developing, pursuing, handing the reins, taken as bases, giving grounding, study, consolidate, and well undertake.
So handing the reins — there is this sense of surrender. Our mind is full of agendas. We wake up in the morning, we have an agenda. We’re really surrendering all plans, all agendas, to this which is most essential: that you’re happy, that you’re safe, that you’re free from suffering.
Warmly,
Melissa
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Join Melissa Mckay for an intensive Metta retreat and deepen your practice of lovingkindness:
Metta-Vipassana: Integrating Mindfulness and Metta practices: 5 Night Retreat May 20 – 25, 2026