What is it about meditating with other people that feels so… good?
I was recently asked this by a meditator I had never met before, who approached me after a drop-in sit. There was awe and reverence in her question. She said that her experiences in group sessions felt different than meditating on her own; they felt profound, otherworldly even, and especially so in this particular setting – sitting in near-silence in the spaciousness of a beautiful, dimly-lit art museum auditorium. I, too, was still vibrating from the experience we had just shared. Together, in that sacred-seeming space, we had touched a place of stillness and togetherness, vastness and intimacy. It felt so … good.
What is it? She asked again, sincerely wanting to know. The answer I offered came directly out of the embodied experience I was having at that moment, standing there in that vibrational field with her. It was more a shared sensation than an answer. It was “resonance.”
I have learned that the word resonance comes from the Latin resonare; to resound. It conveys qualities of depth, richness and reverberation; it evokes images, memories, and emotions – much like our meditation practice does. Resonance, as a phenomenon, occurs when two or more objects vibrate at the same or similar frequency, causing them to amplify each other’s vibrations. The theory of resonance suggests that when we meditate together, we become linked to the people around us through an organizing pattern or field of influence. We resonate with them. This can be experienced as a sense of connection and shared awe among strangers in a museum – or among dharma friends.
As the Buddha notes, “having good friends isn’t half of the Holy Life. Having good friends is the whole of the Holy Life.” Kalyana mitta, or spiritual friendship, is everything. Cultivating supportive and nurturing relationships with people who share your spiritual aspirations and guide you in your practice, is essential to the path of liberation. A spiritual friend is a co-traveler who can take many forms – they can be a teacher, a student, a friend; they can come from a different tradition or lineage, time with them can be enduring or fleeting; they can be someone – or a group of someones – you met on Zoom. I’m grateful for the long-standing spiritual friendships that have nourished and guided me over the years. I have felt so much resonance in those relationships. I’m also grateful for the spiritual friend I just met in the museum. I felt so much resonance there too.
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Dr. Allyson Pimentel is a psychologist, yoga teacher, and long-time Vipassana meditation practitioner and teacher who works at the intersection of mindfulness, mental health, and social justice. She is the Co-Director of Mindful USC. She also teaches at the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center (MARC) and is a board member and teacher at InsightLA. She will be co-leading the Dedicated to Practice retreat on Sunday, April 23rd from 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM PT along with Eric McCullum, MA and Beth Sternlieb. |
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