The Buddha taught that while others may behave in ways that are disappointing, shocking, or cruel; we shall not be cruel — thus, we shall incline our hearts.
He said that even the inclination of the heart toward wholesome states—like kindness or calm—brings benefit. And when we actually act on kindness, through our words and actions, the benefit is even greater.
What I love about that reflection is that when we see suffering or harm out in the world, there can be part of us that wastes our energy thinking: How am I going to fix this? How can I change all those people out there? And this teaching from the Buddha is a reminder that our practice is to bring the focus back to ourselves and our own practice.
Of course in an ideal world, we shouldn’t live with people who are cruel, or who kill—but we do. That, for me, is very grounding. This is the way things are, and our work is to respond to the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. This brings me so much relief from the stress of trying to fix other people. We can’t do that. But what we can do is remember and practice this:
Others will be cruel; we shall not be cruel. Thus, we shall incline our hearts.
Others will kill; we shall not kill. Thus, we shall incline our hearts.
Others will speak falsehood—we shall speak the truth. Thus, we shall incline our hearts.
Listen to Melissa’s full talk Healing the Divide on our Youtube Channel InsightLA Meditation .