Motherhood

This past weekend, in fact, on the Mother’s Day weekend, a friend of mine lost one of her kitties. Tululah, the cat had a kidney problem and recently developed cancer in her stomach, which led to a relatively quick decline. Tululah was one of the two kitties my friend had left after losing another one about a year ago. The losses are felt quite profoundly. For those of us without human children, the furry animals are just a precious part of our life. We get so attached to them, and losing them can be devastating.

This loss was hard for me, too, as Tululah was a black cat just like my Nicola, who is the surviving sibling after we lost her brother, Riley. Nicola is now 16-years old and has a kidney condition as well. The vet told me as long as she keeps eating, she should be fine for a good while. So every day that Nicola is still with me, I am so grateful. I cherish every moment I get to be with her.

While I’ve had blessings of having a wonderful Goddaughter, Nicole, and a beautiful step-daughter, Marissa, every once in a while, I still grieve for the fact that I didn’t get to experience the human motherhood, though it was my choice. My cats have been definitely my kids and a huge part of my life. Especially after losing Riley unexpectedly more than two years ago, I’ve become more attached to Nicola as a solid oxytocin generator for me. I feel comforted when she sits on my lap while I meditate when she lays half of her body on my belly as we go to sleep; and when she greets me at the door when I come home.

And I get to watch my “clinging” literally as I meditate with her on my lap. As they say, our children have so much to teach us. So do our beloved animals, don’t they?

#YouCanSitWithUs